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Hello everyone! (And by everyone I mean the only few awesome couple of you guys who care about my "art" and what goes on in my sad life.
I just wanted to update you on some stuff, considering I'm doing the jumping on, uploading real fast and bailing thing again. With hardly any information on what "inspired" my work or how happy I was with the outcome...
Truth be told I haven't touched my makeup brushes in months.. And I have been KIND OF drawing-as you can tell by my doodle uploads.
There are SO many pictures that I have not finished because everything I HAVE finished lately I ended up hating and thrown away.
(I must have wasted more paper this summer...
Also my constant looking for a job doesn't help me much in the creative department either... So needless to say.. I'm broke as a fucking joke, and the worst of it all? I'm working for my fucking mother AGAIN. AT THE DAYCARE CENTER. Im right back where I started before I attended school... That I somehow thought I would do really well in, and make friends that are into the same things as me, and maybe I'd get a boyfriend there, and somehow I'd find a job through it. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking...
I got to live with 9 total slobs that drove me nuts, I struggled a lot in the effects department, and every guy there was an asshole because everyone was completing against each other there. (I just wanted to shout "we're not on fucking faceoff you bunch of douchebags!") or they were obviously gay. (I made friends with a LOT of drag queens.. Lol)
but... Yeah. Now I'm RIGHT back to where I started. Except now I owe my sister a SHIT TON of money that I can't give her, because no one wants to fucking hire me.... (She paid for my intuition.. Oh and lets not forget paying student loans back!)
Oh and did I mention that a woman that I met up at my school PERSONALLY emailed me about doing makeup for "ScareHouse" which is a haunted attraction we have here in Pittsburgh? And it's actually rated one of the scariest attractions in the U.S.? (You actually have to sign a waver saying you won't hit any of the actor because they will touch you during the walk through. It's VERY scary. They put netted bags over your head and everything-like if you can ever IF you like that kind if thing you should definatly go.)
BUT ANYWAY! Sorry I'm rambling... They wanted me to work there.. And they said they "didnt have room for me" but I know it's because I was a liability towards them because of my seizures.. They have black lights and strobe lights and stuff.. But I haven't had one in 5 years and I'm medicated. Not to mention I'd be in a BACK ROOM for make up! Why the fuck would there be a strobe light there?!
So yeah.. Missed out on my IDEAL JOB. As well as many others. And this was around the time I started getting super depressed and giving up. (My dad said "you can't keep locking yourself up in this shell" and I nearly killed him -_-)
BUT (and this is where the YouTube thing comes into play
I went on YouTube to watch some tutorials. I just watch those instead of TV.. I hate tv.
So I was on Michelle Phan because I hadent been on her channel in a WHILE. There was one video titled "Want to further your beauty career?" So I clicked it; just for the hell of it and it was basically her saying that she wants to help people get "famous" on YouTube. Not really "FAMOUS" you know. Just help them get their work out there, with the help of her website/brand "Ipsy". It said to email them. So I did. And it turned me down-but i thought I did it wrong so I did another email with a bunch of my looks in the email. The next day I got another email stating that they would love to work with me! HOW CRAZY IS THAT?! But the thing is that I have nowhere to set up, no idea how to edit, and no idea what to think about all this! I'm still in so much shock! I'm supposed to get this email from Michelle's team to help me out! But.. Yeah you really might be seeing me on YouTube guys!
how crazy is that?! (Only thing is that I'm SUPER sensitive, and I hate when I get negative comments.. My mom already asked me "do you think you can handle that?" And I like "ehhhhhhhh...." Just.. Had NO answer)
oh and my other announcement? I FINALLY CUT ALL MY HAIR OFF! OH GOD IT FEELS SO GOOD! I'll have pictures soon!
but other than that... We'll have to see what happens next. I'll keep you all updated. Thanks for your patience if you actually READ all this. Lol considering it was literally ALL rambling
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