Turns out today that I actually am quite depressed... I havent wanted to do anything that used to make me haooy, i find everything pointless, and just....Lonely. I then pieced together some of the problems that have been dragging me down. I've been questioning my religion which makes me lonlier then ever. I go around sad, or angry all day long, then to make myself feel better i shove a ton of make up on my face and go take a million pictures of myself. I then put then up here, myspace, facebook, ect. And wait for someone to tell me I'm pretty so I can hear that someone thinks i'm pretty. I don't want to feel this way anymore... so.... I'm kind of putting myself in a self-esteem rehab. I'm taking away all the little things i do (camera, computer, ect) that drag me down. I want to do well this year and succeed in life. I can't very well do that when I don't want to do anything, ever. Its awful how I've become. Sooo... yah. I'm taking a little break. About a month or so at the most. I want to see if I'm correct, and this does bring me down. You see guys, most people when they hurt and such, cut in order to feel better. They abuse their bodies. I abuse myself too... Its just emotional. Not physical. I'm trying so hard to overcome it...

I just thought that you all very nice people had an explaination to why i was ignoring you. I'm not purposely doing so I promise.

Until then I wish you guys a Happy Halloween, and a nice November.

later